What happened to..

What happened to people censoring their comments by thinking before they speak?

It was the end of my work day today and I was going walking down the hall throwing away some plastic cups that had water and juice in them.

As I was walking back to my office, someone stopped me and said, "Don't drink the water around here girl!" I said what are you talking about (as if I didn't know). She said well it is 3 people expecting around here. I said good for them and them she named them off. Then she looked at me as if I was supposed to share something. I said thats really great and started to proceed walking back to my office to get prepared to leave.

She then said, "well do you have any kids? I said No, not yet. She followed up by saying do you want any kids and she looked at me, and I said Yes. Then she looked at me as if I was supposed to share something with her. At that point another point person was standing there that worked in our area. I said, well actually I am adopting right now. She said, Oh, you cant have kids??? I said, no I did not say that, I have chosen to adopt first.

Could you imagine how a person would have felt going through fertility issues or a recent miscarriage?

Why would someone say something like that bodly to a person if they have no idea.

I was sort of offended, but there again I wasn't because I know my situation. However, I felt more offended for people who truly could never have children, or had just had a miscarriage or had a serious fertility problem that was not resolved if they were asked this by someone openly in front of others. I thought that it was an insensitive comment to make because you really do not know what people have gone through or are going through. Fertility is so personal that many people really decide not to discuss it with others. Many times you don't hear their story until they have had a child or dealt with grief of not being able to conceive.

I guess it is just a reminder to everyone to be mindful of what they say to people. The teaching moment for me was to advise her that just because people adopt children does Not mean that they are unable to have children. It is not the case for everyone. It is a personal decision. It kind of burned me because the person was old enough to know better and I thought that it was kind of raw.

Mind you, that most of these pregnancies that leaked out this week were by accident and are new pregnancies. My personal belief is not to share it with coworkers outside of my circle until it has to be told---where I am showing.

Now, everyone at work knows that people are 6 weeks pregnant and it may not have been their choice for everyone to know. I guess thats the chance people take. I guess I was always advised from everyone to get through your first trimester first before telling everyone because it is such a crucial period and it could be devistating to have to go through telling everyone that you lost it early on. I guess it is a personal decision.

My biggest concern is people being mindful of what they say to people and how they say it.