Last class...

We had our last class/graduation tonight! It was so wonderful. We had a panel of guests including adoption and foster care placement and workers, foster parents, adoptive parents and babies/children present!

We also had another spread of food. The two caseworkers that taught our class also brought us a cake for our class graduation. My pictures do not give the table of food any justice. I was rushing trying to take the pictures as we were beginning the panel discussions and others were walking in. So, please excuse the unedited pictures. I just wanted to post a little something with this. I will try to post a little bit more this weekend when I have time.

It was so awesome so all of the little babies and children that were either in care or either had been adopted. These were the most well mannered babies and preschoolers that I have ever seen. They were absolutely adorable. I actually had the opportunity to hold one infant that was a twin and someone else held the other twin during some of the panel discussion and our break when we ate allowed the little ones to eat. These were healthy and just beautiful babies.

Our caseworkers reinforced the fact that we should create some sort of little life books for the children when they come into our home by taking pictures and keeping little things for them and journaling because it is important for the children to have some sort of record for themselves. I did that even for little Miss Sunshine when she lived with us and our caseworker loved how I had all of the pictures to documents the entire time she lived with us from beginning to end. I even kept work samples to scrap with the pictures as well.

The administrator that was over placement of cases spoke to our class and answered many of those questions that we all had regarding placements. We were able to ask all of those specific questions that we had as couples and individuals during this segments. It was important to find out about being available and having your phone and returning phone calls immediately when they are calling about a placement.

They also advised the prospective foster/adoptive parents that are wanting an infant to go ahead and have a crib. They will not allow a child to be placed in your home without a crib, car seat etc. A crib is a must. His recommendations was to go ahead and get the essentials because when it happens with little ones it is critical to be prepared if you want that particular infant. If you are not prepared, they will have to go on and call another parent on the list. It is that serious.

They also made it clear that many of the children that do come through private agencies come from the system and a lot of people don't know that. When they do not have parents to accept the children within the foster care system, they have to turn to private placement agencies to place them in foster care. I found this out earlier in the year this year an that was one of the main things that triggered us to give our system an opportunity.

We were able to talk to the foster parents who had fostered so many children and truly had a passion about this and this was their ministry.

We connected with one of the main foster parents and she gave us her card and we will be talking and visiting with her as well. She has been doing it for years and has fostered and adopted many children. It is truly her calling as well. After coming over to our table and talking with us during the break where we fed the little ones and talked she came over and talked to us. She also asked my husband about thinking about being a male mentor to one of the little ones in her house since she had mostly girls and he needs to have a male figure to look up to here and there. She said that it is hard to find male mentors for the little boys. Ironically, she also attends our church, but at a different location.

The little preschooler sat at the table and ate with us. My husband fixed his food and drink and he was a really great kid with wonderful social skills. She told me to email her so that we can get together and she invited me over since she is not far from us on our side of town.

She is a resourceful parent and handed out her cards to us if we needed anything. She is also one of the parents who helps with providing "start up" clothing, and baby gear to new parents getting placements to help them get started. She said she started that clothing ministry a while ago and receives lots of donations from friends and others who donate to this ministry.

As we closed out the class, we had a little graduation ceremony where our paperwork was given to us and we had to tell the class what we learned. We ALL admitted that we originally thought that the class was going to be boring, however, it was a treat and it seemed like we didn't have enough time each night. It was very interactive.

My husband initially spoke for us because he is the quiet one and I wanted him to speak for us first. He is quiet in nature, however, he truly spoke from the heart and got a few folks teary eyed. He shared that taking the class, meeting the adoptive/foster parents and children in the system dispelled the myths that he had in his mind regarding becoming a resource parent with an intent to adopt. He also said that it is definitely a journey that God placed us in and he has no doubt that we are in the right place after taking the classes over the past two weeks.

Not only have we gained a cool bunch of diverse and new friends, who will also be resources to us if we need it since we all will be either resource parents or adoptive parents, but we gained knowledge that will assist us with encouraging our other close friends to go this route as they have inquired about adoption as well with building their family.

I tried to get out of talking since he was talking on behalf of us both, however, they made me say something as well. I basically recapped what he said and stressed how significant the class was because it opened our hearts up to becoming a resource family when we initially stated that we were in it just for straight adoption. However, learning what we learned and seeing that it is an opportunity to bless a child and give a child a stable home if only for a short while will be touching a life, and that is what we are all here to do.

While adoption is our main objective, we know that we will have the right placement in our home at the right time when it is time for adoption. They are also aware that we are more so interested in adopting a child and will be keeping that in mind with placements. In many cases though, they are unaware of how long the child may need to be in care.

However, we are open to being an example for the bio parents when they are trying to get their children back in certain instances.

Now, we are Not a foster only family. We are "foster to adopt" which is now called resource families in our area. Being strictly an adoptive family limits your amount of calls for placement and being a resource family gives you more opportunity to have a child from a much younger age as you wait for the TPR if it takes place. Again, the typical length of time in care before TPR takes place is 13 months. Therefore, in most cases not all, if you strictly sign up for adoption, then it is more likely that you will get a toddler, however, there are those special circumstances that happen with infants. The child will have to be in your care for 6 months prior to finalization.

I will try to explain a little more over the weekend when I post. I am a little tired. We have really been burning the candle at both ends as we have been completing this classes.

Thank God we are finished! We will have a second and last home study visit this coming week and she will be coming by for a brief visit to test the smoke detectors and a few other things. I will keep updating. Once she turns in that completed report and it is approved by her supervisor, our documents are sent over to a different department which does the placements based upon our profiles that we filled out for what we are willing to take and the age groups. We were advised that it can happen very fast or it can be a month or so. We are prepared as much as we can be for either case.

Bargains..

On yesterday we decided to take advantage of the one of the sales that one of the major baby store's was having. You could bring in an older item such as a car seat, stroller etc to get 20% off of a new item/items. Which is a pretty good deal. We had not really purchased items for the nursery since we had been waiting. I think the whole newness of the excitement went away as we waited for a while and nothing happened. We decided that we had plenty to get started with and we did not purchase anymore items for the nursery.

We decided that we definitely should go ahead and purchase at least 1 pack and play for our home.We traded in an older car seat that a close friend gave us when we had little Miss. Sunshine. We had a car seat for her, however, the friend had 3 little ones close together and had a surplus of car seats. We took that particular car seat since it was older and used and gave it to BRU. We went around the store and decided on a pack and play versus purchasing another new car seat since we definitely do not know the exact age/weight of the child that we will be getting. We have an infant car seat and we have a convertible car seat as well. We have decided that we are going to wait on purchasing 2 new car seats of our choice until we actually get a placement. We prefer to have a pack and play on each level so that we do not have to drag them up and down the steps when we are in the rooms.

We decided on a pack and play/changing station for our family room for now. We will go back and find one that matches our bedroom once we get a placement. For now, the one pack and play will be sufficient. The 20% off helped out tremendously and brought the price down. I was able to get a really nice pack and play that matched our family room decor. Our family room is earth tone type colors, so this little pack and play fit in pretty good. For the sake of taking the picture, I took a picture of the pack and play in another room against a different colored wall.

We realized yesterday that we did not have to purchase many more items, even with an emergency placement. It is only a few things that I would desire to purchase which immediately after a placement and they are the following items: 1-2 more car seats, a floor bouncer, swing, pack and play for our bedroom, and high chair. We have the majority of the items needed to get started with a newborn. I am glad that we took the time while we were waiting before to purchase basic needs.

At this point, it is hard to prepare because we are not positive on the age of the baby since we changed agencies. We are fine with it because we are prepared enough. I can't imaging trying to rush to do things now in preparation or a possible placement of birth to 2. I truly understand purchases will have to be made, however, I do not want to be swamped with having to go out and get everything at once.

Here is a picture of the pack and play that we purchased to kind of blend in with our family room. I love the fact that these little things have small compartments to organize daily essentials for a baby.

Class #2

Things are really moving along. We had our second class and the class went by super fast. I took my beast of a camera with me to take pictures of the table with all of the food, however, I totally forgot to take the picture. We had more than enough food and we set the tone for our first pot luck type dinner/class. I brought in colored table cloths to give it a little flare, in addition to some serving dishes and platters to put the assorted sandwiches, cookies and chips that I brought in. Others brought in pizza, fruits, dips, and drinks. I actually think we had way too much food for our group size. However, everyone was able to take food home and a few other administrators came by our class and picked up some food as well.

A few of the topics focused on in this module was the whole child, special needs/services etc, sexuality issues, discipline, respite services, getting permission to travel out of state with the child, a few other things. We also had to draw out our schedule in a unique way which showed our current lifestyle from day to day and how having a new little one in the house will play into that schedule. It is interesting to see how busy our lives can get, however, you will learn to adjust to change in your home.

One of the SW's wanted the class to know that there is a sometimes a stigma with adopting from the state and she wanted us to know that they receive a lot of healthy babies and children and it is not all drug or sickly children as a lot of people assume. While I knew that, many others still have a picture in their mind of the type of children that are in the state's care. She gave an example of an email that she received earlier that day regarding a healthy toddler that was available for adoption.

The regional director and a few other administrators dropped into our class as well and introduced themselves. Many of them will be coming back next week to our last class serving on a panel to answer any of the questions that we may have. There happened to be a foster parent association meeting the same night next door to our meeting room. The group meets monthly and they are also resources to one another as well.

The 3 different types of parents:

One thing that the SW's and administrators wanted us to make a final decision on was what type of parent we wanted to be in regards to with the program. There are 3 different categories of parents with the program. The first is a Partnership parent which is a parent or families who desire to foster only. The second type of parent is a Resource parent which is a parent who will take a baby, toddler, or older child into their home for care and may be willing to adopt the child if reunification is not successful. The last parent is an Adoptive parent. The Adoptive parent is a parent/family who pretty much wants a child that is free for adoption or will be free for adoption as the TPR will be worked on.

One of the advantages of being a Resource parents is that it is more likely that you will get an infant if an infant is your desire as a Resource parent. However, that infant can remain in care for 12-13 months until TPR's are taken care of. So, there is a legal risk, however, if adoption is the desire, then the hopes are that your CW will try to place you with more favorable cases towards adoption. However, it is a risk.

We initially stated that we wanted to only be an Adoptive family and open to birth to 2 years old. However, since we have been in the class and have had the opportunity to ask plenty of questions. We may be open to being a Resource parent. There are legal risks with this one, however, we did ask if a family is a Resource family and their ultimate goal is adoption, does the adoption case worker consider the type of placement placed into the home. That is something that the workers consider. I believe that the key is for the families to be very forthcoming with their caseworkers to state what their expectations are and their ultimate goal in the program.

We are going to pray over making the decision to become a Resource Parent versus solely adoption over the next week while we are ending the class and finalizing our process. Once you make a decision to become one type of parent, you can change your mind, however, it can not be while you have a child in your home in care. It must be after that particular child. In other words, they do not want you going back and forth constantly while you have a child or children in your home in care. Which is understandable.

New changes:

Some of the changes that took place in my state with adoption are the following:

• If a child has been in care less than 24 months you will have to pay for the adoption finalization
• Past subsidy's may not be granted after the adoption due to the child not being in care for 24 months
• Once adopted, Medicaid may not be given unless the child has a documented condition and was receiving services while in foster care, hence no health insurance coverage for

Due to state budget issues, these new adoption changes are major because many families who were fostering before may not be able to afford to pay for the adoption of the children they are fostering. In the past, the state paid for everything and now there is set criteria. While this does not impact my household's adoption plans because we were going to have to pay for finalization with a private agency before and many other fees.

We were not expecting any sort of subsidy or adoption assistance anyway. We were expecting the child to have to be put on our private insurance and we were expecting to pay for everything else as with any other adoption. While this was not significant to us, it has been a heated topic for many foster families already in the system who may not be able to afford to keep a child due to not receiving assistance, health insurance or having to pay for the adoption finalization.

Each night I learn more and more and we are able to try to come closer to a decision of what we are leaning towards with the program. I am excited about having a panel at our classes next week. We will be able to get direct answers from the people who are actually in the field with the placements. I do believe that more and more people will be adopting from the state once the word gets out that it is a smooth process and they are able to meet the demands for adopting.

Class #1

We had our first class yesterday with our new agency. We will be finished next week!

It was a wonderful class and the time really went by fast. I wondered before we attended whether or not the 3 hours would be long and drawn out. It was not! Time went by really fast and the introductions and sharing was wonderful. Even our SW commenting on liking the dynamics of the class and our personalities. They commented on how we will connect and some of us will need to stay connected so that we can use one another for respite services if we need to.

I was not for sure how large or small the group would be since we were told before that they did not offer the classes monthly because they did not have enough adoptive parents to hold it monthly. Which seemed a little odd to me consider this a major metropolitan city.

However, we have 9 different families in our group and its a pretty large group. Our common denominator for the group was God and we all were very much active and involved with our churches, our faith, and the majority of us have dogs that we adore!

How did this come up? They had us to do an activity where we had to draw our family maps and draw out what was important to us and things we were willing to give up and not, kind of. It basically spelled out who was in our family, who we spent our time with and where we spent our time and the things things that were important to us such as our hobbies. I will take a picture of ours and post it when we get it back. We weren't artistic or anything with this activity because we had a minimal amount of time to draw it with the markers.

However, we had to go up and present our maps to the group and thats how we found out who one another were, shared common interests and personal information that we wanted to share on the map.

The majority of our group are all working professionals in different areas of professions and I would say the age ranges were closer as well with a one or two a little older. Great mix of professionals from divinity, medical, education, corporate, music industry/entertainment and much more. Higher education and volunteering was also a common denominator for this group and way of life from how it come up during the presentations. Everyone was down to earth and very jovial.

It was a very neat activity and we do have a very interesting group that hopefully I will be able to share a little bit later when we are finished.

All of us were interested in adoption and we pretty much all had similar concerns with adoption and risks for the placements in our homes if we chose to go that route instead of just adoption parents, for the ones who were not adopting family members. We also did a role playing activity as well which was hilarious!

The group immediately clicked and we definitely do not have a dry group at all! We voted on completing the class on next week versus making that Saturday our last day. My SW and another SW held the class and their supervisor also stayed for about 2 hours.

They asked the class to figure out how to bring dinner/snacks for one another so that we could eat since many were coming straight from work and it makes for a long evening with no food. We passed around a sign up sheet and it was done within minutes.

I volunteered to go ahead and bring a party platter from Subway with sandwiches since I am home/off this week and it is easy for me to order a tray and bring in a few items to set the table up. We will alternate next week with bringing in different dishes/drinks/foods etc. I wanted to get the big item out of the way first since I am not really busy this week. Someone else will be bringing in the larger food items next week and we will probably bring in a dessert one day and veggie/fruit tray another day.

I will try to take pictures of our food table when we have our second class on tomorrow. I forgot to take my camera yesterday to journal our class.

After my husband and I presented and sat down, the other SW came over to us during the break and we started talking. Long story short, she grew up in NYC near my husband and they know a lot of the same people and she went to college with my older brother in law. She remembered my brother in law, but he did not remember her after my husband texted him and gave the name. He may need to see a picture. He was an athlete as well, so go figure.

Long story short, her ex husband and my husband grew up in the same neighborhood, played sports together and went to one college together. She said she thought that she recognized his face but couldn't put it together. So, she sent a message to her ex husband to let him know that she met one of his old friends. She has only been living in our city for a year. Small world!

I am looking forward to our next class and being with our newly prospective adoptive friends and going through the next module!

I will update later...

Visit 1

Our entrance today.....

We had visit #1 today with our SW. She was in our home a little over 4 hours gathering information and typing into her laptop. It was a nice and relaxing visit and nothing that worked my nerves. We were all relaxed very comfortable. It is funny how things seem like a repeat when you are going through the process again, but with a different agency. It was pretty painless. Our SW was older and seasoned and professional. She is working to have this report completed quickly.

She did not take a look throughout our home until the very end. She was very courteous and very observant without looking through our home upon her arrival. I pay attention to everything! I also think because she is older and has been doing this for a while that she did not want to immediately come in our home walking around before talking to us face to face and getting to know us, although, we had spoken on the phone once before. I can appreciate the fact that she wanted us to warm up to her and talk with her before she started strolling through our personal spaces. I did not mind at all because we had been through this before and we expected to have our personal spaces invaded during this important process.

She told me that basically she only needed to see the room that we have for a baby to ensure that we have a room set a side. From that point on, the home tour took place. We were already on the main level and then we went upstairs and then we went to the basement last. She loved the nursery and saw that we were more than prepared for a child or toddler. She said that on the 2nd visit, which will be our last visit, she will test the C02 detectors and smoke detectors. I pointed them all out, however, she will check the functionality of the detectors on the next visit. Her next visit will be after we complete the classes. She will actually be one of the instructors for the class which is awesome.

One of my next door neighbors came by to notarize one of the documents that she needed notarized. She told me when she arrived that it is a form that we will have to notarize with all 3 of us. I called my neighbor who is an attorney and she came over after she got out of court and notarized the documents for us. The SW had an opportunity to meet her briefly and see our relationship as well. She was a little tickled that she returned my call so quickly when I called her and then agreed to come by and notarize the document on short notice. I guess she realized at that point that we are all pretty close knit once she arrived.

We also had an opportunity to discuss the baby that we are interested in adopting. I waited until the end to advise her of how we came to where we are. She will be following up with the child's case worker to make sure that the case worker knows that there is a family interested in adopting the child. She stated that this was very important because the information needed to to be given to the right people so that things do not slip through and we miss the opportunity. We did discuss us being open to birth through 2 years old and she stated that sometimes it happens right away and sometimes it takes a short while, however, she also stated as we did

" What is for us, will be for us."

After she saw our home, from top to bottom, I took her out on the deck and we stood there for a minute so that she could see the back yard and greenery. She loved it and as she walked back inside our home, she stated that all we were missing were little ones inside our home and she commented on how well appointed our home was and that my husband and I had done a beautiful job. I did appreciate the compliment though!

While I was not looking for any feedback on our home's decor, it is good to hear from a SW that comes in your home to like it because they go in so many homes and you want them to feel like it is child friendly home and a nice home for raising children.

Our home reflects our taste and style totally. I think that most people are on edge when the SW's come to their home because they want to definitely have a home that is presentable, no matter the size of the home or cost. It needs to be functional and presentable to someone coming in looking at your way and standard of living, to an extent.

She even saw a picture of little Miss Sunshine and wanted to see more. I took her into the office and pulled up iphoto so that she could see some different pictures of little Miss Sunshine and I think she was amazed just with all of the pictures that we had from so many different events organized in the computer. My husband and I shared our experiences with her about the period that she lived with us earlier this year and she understood our involvement. She said that she could see how happy this child was while living with us as well. She saw pictures of her before we had her and while we had her.

I also wanted to note that they have an eye for everything when they come into your home. She paid attention to small details such as pictures of family members, god kids, greeting cards out etc. I noticed how she would see something and walk up on it and look at it and smile. Little things drew her attention. She also noted the fact that she liked how we are in a cul de sac and have the back yard space and side yard space. She also noted that we had safety gates available to use in the home as well. She saw them in the basement with all of the extra nursery items packed away and a gate that we had in the nursery tucked in a corner. We also had a gate on our deck to secure the steps.

Anyway, thats all I can think of right now. I am very, very tired because we stayed up kind of late last night just trying to make sure all was in order for the visit.

The two things that she did mention was that it was mandatory for the home to have a particular type of fire extinguisher and to have a first aid kit in a stationary location. Of course we had already discussed the electrical outlets, cabinet locks and smoke detectors. That was all evident. So, when she returns for the last visit, she will test the detectors and make sure that our first aid kit is in a central or stationary location. We have fire extinguishers, however, I need to confirm that they are ABC extinguishers as requested from the agency.

Our classes begin next week and I will post more then. We have four evening classes and one Saturday class. I am sure that I will have updates between now and while we are in the classes. We will be completed with classes before the end of this month. The process will be completed at that point. Everything else was done earlier this summer. The class is the last thing that you take before getting a placement.

Stay tuned....

Helpful items..

These really work....

We purchased these bags back in the winter and tucked them away in a closet somewhere and forgot about them. For several years, I watched the info commercials telling you how awesome the bags were about helping you reduce clutter in your closets. I finally broke down and purchased two packs of them at a local retail store last winter. We recently put them to use as we were cleaning out the guest bedroom closets and preparing for our next home study visit.

I must admit all of the things in all of the guest bedroom closets are mine. I am girly and I love clothing. Period. No excuses.

However, the closets are neat and organized. I decided to take back over the closet that little Miss Sunshine had when she lived with us after we packed up everything and I already had the other guest bedroom closet. I put my dress slacks, dress shirts/blouses and casual dresses in there to make easier on me. Each closet that I occupy has its own purpose!

I must admit I have a touch of OCD as my husband has always said for years as well as a few other close friends.

Yes, we do have a generous Master bedroom closet. I just like having my items spread out by season or type of clothing, for example, all of my pant suits and suits in one closet and summer/spring clothing in one closet. It makes it easier for me versus cluttering our master bedroom closet with everything.

Now, I did not do this when I lived in NYC. I had several closets in my brownstone, however, space was limited, although I had a very large place.

I had a main closet for summer and a closet for winter and I utilized another closet for all of my coats and jackets. I also utilized a few storage bins in my hallway closet for items that I was not using. I was very careful with my space and everything was organized. It was very different living there as I was used to having a lot of space prior to moving to NYC. After leaving there and returning to what was normal to me, some of my old habits returned. It is true when they say, the more space you have, the more that you use or waste.

We actually did major closet cleaning in early June. We spent an entire weekend cleaning out the closets and reorganizing them. Sometimes, you have to take that time because things can really get out of hand. Yes, we do donate as well. We have about 5 bags that need to be taken to the Goodwill or Salvation Army now with gently used or items never used.

Anyway, I had tons of sweaters, turtlenecks, and twin sets in one of the other guest bedroom walk in closets stacked up on the top shelves. Although they were folded neatly, it was not an appealing look in my eyes because it was so many sweaters. I should have taken a picture last weekend, but I wasn't thinking and it would have been a little shameful on my end to show all of those sweaters stacked up.

Well, we pulled out these bags and put them to the test. My husband neatly refolded the sweaters and put them in the Extra Large Space Bags and vacuumed the air out of the bag. It really worked! I was a little doubtful at first because I had a close friend that said hers did not work. Ours worked and we sealed away at least 100 sweaters. The shelf looks so much neater and it is literally empty now.

It would really benefit me to put my seasonal items in the storage bags as well, however, it would take time to hang them up when the season returns and I do not feel like doing that now. Maybe later, I prefer utilizing the closet space that we have instead of packing everything up and having to look for something off season when I need it and pull it out of the bag. I may break down and pack away a few things just to free up some dresser drawer space in my other guest rooms that I utilize. It just makes my life a little easier to be able to walk in and get what I want without hunting for something or going down to the basement looking for items stored away.

This particular room is designated to also be turned into a another nursery as well and I will gladly move my items that are hanging up when that time draws near. It will be an easy move because I can just take everything and move them to our bedroom closet since it is all organized. Now, I will not feel as bad when the SW opens up the guest closets. She will not see so much overflow on the shelves. My husband put the space bags under the bed and they fit under there nice and neat.

While we are on the subject of closets and organization. I also love these little scent packs. I have them hidden in different rooms and closets in my home to always have a fresh scent without tons of spraying. I keep them in the linen closets, bedroom closets and bedrooms to have a nice clean smell on a regular due to the other bedrooms being closed and not utilized a lot. I grew up with my mother using these as well and I love opening closets and smelling a nice crisp laundry smell or white linen.

I always purchase these and I get my money's worth!

They are usually on sell for 5 for a particular amount and I rack up on them in different scents. It does make a difference. I am a person that loves walking into my home and smelling a nice fruity or clean smell without overkill. I will use particular plug ins within our home, however, these packs are great and are not noticeable if you know how to place them.

One of the cashiers in the store told me that to get the most effective scent in large room is to place 3 of them (of the same scent) in different locations in the room. Sure enough it worked. I placed 3 and it is more effective. I like walking by a room and smelling a scent, but not quite knowing where it is coming from and these are very affordable. They last much longer than those stick up deodorizers or other types for closets. The cashier also told me that she puts a pack in the bother of her kitchen garbage can liner so that it always has a fresh scent under the bag. I thought that was a pretty clever idea. I never thought of putting one in our garbage can until she mentioned it.

One of my favorite scents is the Laundry Scent. It is so nice and fresh. I love all of the ones that I have, however, the Laundry one is a favorite for sure. Of course I put the Laundry in my laundry room. I also like that scent in our master closet. I love the smell of April Fresh detergent and softener. Please do not ask me why! It is just a nice clean scent that I like to smell.

If you are into having a clean smelling closet or room without overpowering with sprays, try these and you will love them. It is truly a secret of mine. I have a pet and everyone that comes over to our home always says you would never know we have a dog because it always smells so clean and they are looking for what we use or ask what do we spray.

Meaning that they have been to others and it is a distinct smell of animals living in the home. I am very particular about that and we make sure that our home has a nice clean and refreshing fragrance when you enter, versus the smell of different foods that have set in to your fabrics. I think many people do not realize that their home captures so many smells and needs to be aired out often and deodorized to some degree more often than they think.

Anyway, these are my two little helpful items that I wanted to share. I really should have taken pictures of the chaos in that particular closet before we put the sweaters into the bags. They are definitely worth investing in. I am going to get two more boxes to store a few more things away to free up some more drawer space. I purchase storage magazines often and when I purchased my most recent storage/organization magazine it gave a really neat yearly break down and suggestion of when to clean out and organize each closet/room in your home. I will have to share that one later in another post. It also gives all of the neat sites and stores to get those cutesy items to help organize your every item.

I am sure that I am not the only one out there that had a not so perfect closet and with overflow. However, the great thing is that I recognized it and took the steps to make better use of my space and not be wasteful.

Updates...

I felt it would be appropriate to update the blog since I have not posted in over a month!

So, let me catch everyone up to speed at this time. Thanks to those who have texted or sent me a message, wondering what in the world is going on and wondered did we secretly get a placement.

This is where we are at this point.

We left our private agency after waiting for a sufficient time with them and moved forward with a state agency. If you would have asked me 3 years ago would I have taken this route, I probably would have said no out of fear of the hassle of dealing with the local/state adoption process. I will share my initial fears about that in a separate post another day. Actually, everything was going fine until we got right here to the end and a different department took over our file.

We are in the process of having our home study completed next week. Their process is a little different. The home study is one of the last things that you do now according to how they operate here. They do all of the orientation, paperwork, background check, clearances, drug tests up front and then you are assigned a SW to come out to look at your home and then the final thing is taking their classes.

Our paperwork was approved in July and was sent to the next department to be assigned a SW so that we could have our home study completed. However, the next department sat on the paperwork for a month, never looked at the file and did not follow up with us until I sent a serious email to the Director after numerous unanswered phone calls to a person that we were given as the supervisor over the department. The supervisor over the previous department who sent our paperwork through felt that we would have been called within the first 10 days after they received our folder to move forward to being assigned a case worker and told us to contact her if we did not hear anything. She was in shock that the next department had not done anything with the file when we contacted her and told her. They had not bothered to even look at the file.

We kept a log of the unreturned phone calls and we were both diligent about calling for the month. This went on for a month. Until I decided to send an email documenting all of the information and noting that our paperwork had been sent by the other department a month before and this was the beginning of a paper trail. I also used some other magic words that caught the attention of someone and we mysteriously received a phone call 48 hours later and everything was set up and apologies were stated over and over and over again on and our needs were desiring to be met. We are not difficult people at all. We are professional and we expect to be treated with respect and have follow up.

Prior to receiving the phone call I was speaking with a few close friends about the unprofessionalism and one of my friends recommended that I contact one of my state representatives if no one responded to the email since we had been in limbo for a month.

She also later recommended contacting the governors office, and I felt it was a little extreme, however, she explained why. Another close friend of hers contacted the governors office in the past and mysteriously after that contact, things were rolling. She was going through an adoption process with the state and the workers were not following up with her at all and delaying things on their end. I did not have to go further with my contacts. However, I do have a state rep. that I know if needed to advocate for us if our local department slacks off again. So, I have learned a lot about utilizing those officials who work for you. Thankfully, we did not have to lean on anyone because they called us back after receiving the email.

This was one of my initial fears of dealing with the state because they are so overworked here and they are just not equipped to deal with adoption processes. However, this is the agency that provides many of the babies that they receive to private agencies. At this point, our state is trying to maintain a foster program and adoption program which is going to be very interesting.

Although there are plenty of adoptive parents out there and babies and children that need to be place, many are concerned with the efficiency of the program. We totally understand the stress and caseload that the employees have, however, common courtesy and good customer service does not cost a thing. Especially when it comes to just calling someone and letting them know you have not gotten to their file or returning their phone call. It is really sad that we have to send serious emails to get a response from people. Can you imagine all of the little children who are out there in limbo in foster care because workers just do not feel like doing their job or are overwhelmed? It is not a good situation.

We will actually be taking the classes at in the midst of having the home study completed this month. Our classes are only 4 evening classes for three hours and one Saturday 5 hour class. We will be completed with the classes this month and our SW will be coming to our home this coming week for the first in depth visit. This is not anything new to us since we had a private home study done with our previous agency.

On a side note, our home study with our private agency just expired on yesterday and our private agency was rather disappointed that we exited the program and expressed to them that we did not want to continue to move forward with them. We explained why and told them we may come back in the future if we desire, however, we waited with them a sufficient amount of time and they just experienced a dry season with placements this year. I will make sure that I do a post on that phone conversation with the adoption coordinator who had no idea that there was lack of communication with our SW during the waiting process. She was not thrilled to hear of that and to know that we truly exited the program.

We do have a baby that we have identified in care that we are interested in adopting. Without going in to too much detail at this point, that is one reason that led us to this process. We were told about the baby from a close friend of ours that sees the foster mom on a regular basis and that foster mom was unsure that she was going to adopt this child upon the TPR taking place. We advised the foster mom that we were interested in adopting the child if she was not going to or could not adopt the child. We actually had an opportunity to see the baby and hold it at a birthday party we attended by the mutual friend (the friend who told us about the baby) over the summer and she advised us then that she was still unsure. I think she advised the friend that she held onto the paperwork that they gave her regarding whether or not she was going to adopt the child. She held onto it almost a month and I believe she stated that she was only given two days to get it back in. We are unsure what she decided on paper. We are not worried because whatever child is for us, is for us. Period.

We do know that there is a chance that we may not get this identified child, however, we are open to others if this particular one does not work out. The child did have TPR over the summer. We advised our SW that we are definitely interested an open to other situations if this one does not work out.

The fact of the matter is, our home study could have been completed in August if were not due to lack of communication and non compliance on this particular department. However, it is water under the bridge now. One month later, we are scheduled for everything to be completed and we are just thrilled about that. We have a very sweet and seasoned SW that is coming to do our study.

The blessing about this experience is that we can help other friends of ours who are also interested in going this route as well and are waiting to see how things work out with us. Yes, most people have heard undesirable things about the process. However, if you are diligent with your paperwork and stay on top of things, there is no reason that you will not be heard. Knowing your rights is important with this process.

I have heard of not so great stories from others who have experienced the system, however, we made it work for us and are making it work for us at this point by remaining faithful and proactive to reach the end.

Stay tuned, things are moving swiftly and I will keep things updated more frequently now. I will know a little more once we have the visit next week. I would love to hear from others who have experiences with their state adoption system.