(Sorry for the late post... today on 2/1/2009; this post has been sitting in my inbox and I never released it due to a lot going on).
I dislike complaining about things, but yesterday I was on my way home and my husband called me because he was letting out the house keeper who comes every couple of weeks to clean our home. He told me that he had some bad news, which scared me at first because I was driving and he knows better than to tell me upsetting things while I am driving in our city. He just chose the wrong choice of words. He told me that our housekeeper accidentally dropped an angel globe that we had in the dining room for Christmas that was still out. It was an angel snow globe that I purchased our first christmas in our home a couple years ago. It had a nice little saying on the outside and it was a musical snowglobe with a pewter finish on the bottom with a nice phrase about peace and something else.
The globe was not an expensive item, but it was nice and it was something that I really liked. I don't think that I paid more than $20.00 for the item from Target. However, it was apart of my dining room decorations during the holidays. He said that she was cleaning and it slipped out of her hand. My husband called me because she told him and she wanted to know where I got it from so that she could replace it. I told him that I really didn't think that they sold them anymore because I didn't see them this past Christmas. But, that was not the point. The point was it was broken and gone. I asked him later, how did it slip when she was dusting. Wouldn't you take the items off the dining room table before dusting it? He noticed where I was going with this as I was driving on my way home and I was getting upset over a $20.00 Christmas decoration that should have been packed away with the rest of the decorations. However, that was not the point. I was raised not to get caught up in material things, but at the same time I was raised to take care of what I have.
I am not quite for sure why this bothered me so much and my husband was calm as usual and told her where we purchased it from and she left. I brought up the fact when I got home and talked to him that another small inexpensive decorative vase was broken back in the summer. I did not notice it because I have several small ones on the mantle. She told my husband about it when it happened and he told her it came from IKEA. I mix high end with low end when decorating and it works for me well. She replaced it back in the fall, and I never really new it was gone because we have framed pictures on the mantle and the vases were not a significant size. That item was broken when she was dusting the fireplace mantle as well.
I felt kind of bad about getting a little emotional about it when I got home because the items were inexpensive. My husband calmly reminded me that she has been cleaning our home for 4 years and she has only broken two things. I can agree with that. However, I chimed in with saying what if it were something that can not be replaced like some of my collectable items? He didn't say anything, because I think he felt like it was a never ending battle ane we left the conversation alone and he said he understood my concern.
I hesitated before writing this post. I realized as I tell everyone else, every day is not peachy and we have to take the good with the bad and talk about it. It is apart of life and it has to be discussed too. Do not get me wrong, I love my house keeper like family and we have recommended her to so many of our close friends and neighbors. She has an awesome business and she worked many years for a large cleaning chain before moving here and starting her own business.
This just kind of took me for a loop because I guess I was raised to take care of things and be mindful of where they are, regardless of the cost. I think that it struck a nerve and made me a little emotional. My poor husband just sat there and looked at me when I arrived home and went on about the angel and I was saying what if it was this and what if it was that! He said, he understood and left it alone.
I told him somethings can not be replaced and it does not matter if it was inexpensive or expensive. I guess she took the remains of the broken angel globe with her because it was not in our garbage. I am sure that she will look high and low for a replacement. Bless her heart.
Maybe this is preparing me for what my child may do to things around the house. I still believe in teaching your children to respect the property and to be cautious. By no means, was this so upsetting that it made me want to change my housekeeper. For some reason it bothered me and I am not for sure why, but some things just can not be replaced by just asking the person where they purchased it from.
I just thought I would share a not so happy feeling that I had in our every day life. I do not think that I was overreacting to this incident, but it did bother me. I am sure that I am not the only person that has experienced this.
8 comments:
I still remember my best friend dropping (about 4') an item that my father had brought back for me from Japan. It's an adorable porcelain doll. We tried gluing it back together the best we could but there was still a rather large hole. But it was so special to me since it was something dad picked out for me I have kept it all these years just display it so the hole faces away from first view. So I understand. That item could never be replaced due to the meaning behind it as with your snow globe.
I too understand how you feel. My college roomate would wear my clothes and damage them to the point where only she could wear them.
There is no explaination why we get emotionally attached to things, we just do. Not matter the cost you still have the right to be upset. Just like your housekeeper is human so are you and you are entitled to your feelings.
Hi Kristie,
I know how you feel about things that can't be replaced. I lost a Tahitian pearl earring while one of my new aunts was hugging, kissing, and crying over me a couple of years ago. They were new and I never replaced it.
I really enjoyed meeting her but she reminds me of my lost earring. I feel bad comparing our meeting to my lost earring, because she's more valuable than an earring could ever be but I really liked those earrings.
Children will break an item but with quick correction they'll get the messsage. They'll even learn to say no, no before they touch something.
Ladies,
I am glad that I am not the only one!
For a minute, I thought I was being silly or petty when it happened. However, I realized that some things are sentimental regardless of the price. I have always been one of those ones who keeps things and takes care of them and it bothers me when something happens to special things that I have. It is not an only child syndrome!
Yes, my grandparents and parents taught me what not to touch. They did not believe in removing everything. Their point was train your child. Now, I think many of us revolve around the child instead of training them not to go in a room or touch things in a room. I don't know. I knew what rooms and things were off limits in my grandparents house.
It is some things that I am not going to take a chance on having a learning experience with my child if they are precious to me.
Kristy
Soror, No, little things can't be replaced so when they leave us we release them and hold onto the memories and the good feelings they brought us. They never truly brought us "true" happiness, joy or contentment, just a good "special feeling" which again, we take and hold onto the memory of it and be thankful for the memory while it still lingers.
I learned early in life (after our home was destroyed by fire) that you take the memory, not the material thing forward. That mindset helped me as a mother when my children accidently broke something. I would shrug my shoulders, smile and say, "oh well, you can't take it with you."
Speaking of can they be replaced...a few years ago, while attending to my sister-in-laws needs during her last days on earth, I lost my pearls (yes, the ones I received wayyyyyyyyyy back in the day from my Soror-Cousin shortly after "going over" when we were referred to as "Ivy Pledge Club") at the hospital someone between her room and the visiting area.
I soooooo badly wanted to cry but the lesson of "you can't take it with you" repeatly came to mind.
I let trying to get those pearls go and off my mind and laugh when I think about losing them.
Hey, here's something to try if/when something is broken again: Take a piece of it and either make a mosaic drink coaster or glue it inside a shadow box with a handwritten message next to it. That way, you'll have a piece of the item to have and to keep the "special feeling" going.
((((xoxo))) to you all the same!
Soror E.,
Thank you for your words of wisdom. Your words remind me of mothers keeping me in check from time to time with reality. I need that. I give reality checks as, but it is also nice to have others who are able to remind us gently.
I can not imagine losing my pin, but it happens. I rarely take mine out. After my mother pinned me when I gave her the pin back. I was afraid that it may be replaced, although she told me to keep it until we received ours.
I remember a summer or so after I had crossed, I had my ivy plant at my parents house and it had been growing well. My mother broke it one day when she was cleaning the screened in porch and when I came home she said it like it was nothing. She didnt try to salvage it or anything. That little ivy plant meant alot to me. She was like, go get another one! There are plenty of ivys. She knew that it meant a lot, but she also advises not to get caught up in things, because things can be replaced but people cant.
I wonder would she feel the same way if something happened to her precious pledge scrapbook that she worked on the year that she pledged!!?? It is in perfect condition! I know that she holds that thing near to her heart because she was the first AKA on her campus and she chartered the chapter and it was indeed a process, a whole year I believe. She just spoke last weekend at her undergrad chapters Founders Day program. She has been in the organization over 30 years and that book looks untouched!!
I actually misplaced my mothers high school ring. I used to wear it in high school and when I got my own Senior ring, I put hers in the jewelry box. That box was packed up with some things and I want to take the time to go find it so that I can give it to her. She has never asked for it or mentioned, and she probably does not miss it. I just want to give it back to her so that she can have it with her keepsakes. I used to wear her high school senior ring with pride until I got my own!
The funny thing is, I am grown and married with my own home and the majority of all of my AKA stuff is in my room at my parents home. I have a few essentials here like my pin, all of my membership cards, history book and satin pink and green photo album scrap book someone made for me after I crossed.
My parents kept everything I guess because I have moved a few times and they thought some things should remain in a safe place. I think she didn't want things lost. She has all of my stuff in my bedroom placed neatly in a drawer and the other stuff is in bedroom closet. I guess she knew how sensitive I was about that ivy plant that she broke and she didnt want anything else to be damaged or go missing! She even has some baby dresses of mine, baby blankets, ear rings, shoes, and much more stuff. I think I picked up saving things from her.
You are right...they are things. It does hurt when things happen to them though! But, eventually we move on.
The idea about keeping broken pieces is a great idea. I will remeber that!
Hold up...back it up....naw Sawrah, naw....I didn't mean my PIN... I was talking about my pearl necklace! LAWD, (yes, I say LAWD when I can't breath), I don't think I would be calm if I lost my Ivy-Pin!
I was pinned by my Soror-Cousin with the pin that is steep in the history of Alpha Kappa Alpha and trust me, I didn't sleep well for several days while that pin was in my possession (had night terrors that could have translated into post hazing----LOL)!
Years ago, I purchased a cedar trunk that holds everything from paddle-to-pressed ivy leaves I've collected from Sorors through the years.
See, my heart is still a little off-beat just thinking about you thinking I meant my pearl-pearls!
Soror E.
Gotcha! I was feeling bad for you for a minute! I am happy it was not your pin!
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