The self-study is a long document that asks questions about the individual, how they were raised, family contact, child-rearing practices, disciplining children, questions related to your marriage (communication, dividing finances etc), how your family feels about the adoption,parenting an adopted child, nature vs nurture, description of your home in detail, how the child will affect your marriage/lifestyle, your neighborhood, surrounding shopping area, listing schools close by, police departments, fire departments etc. It also goes into detail asking about how you will deal with talking to the child about adoption and when your child asks questions about where they are from.
I feel that I was pretty thorough in my typed out self-study because the notes she made were minimal on the side of each section and we really just had a casual conversation about what I already wrote on the self study. The references that are sent in will also be added into the meat of the home study document as well since it is others describing the couple and their ability to parent.
The document is given to each spouse to fill out and submit and this helps the SW with the interview and typing up the actual home study. She had received all of our references except for one and that was great. She advised me that it could have actually be in the office, but not delivered to her yet since it goes through several hands. One of my reference letters arrived in the mail while was there. Everyone literally turned their reference letters in less than 10 days.
In addition, she also advised me of what she would be looking for once she actually comes to our home for the last visit. It was a list of everything that I had been aware of. Nothing came to a surprise.
At one point during the initial part of the meeting, my Social Worker had to leave to go copy some original documents that I brought in.
I decided to text one of the Social Workers that we met there back in September, that now lives back in NC where I am from, because she relocated. This is the Social Worker that did our meeting back in September. We ended up finding out that she was from the same place that my parents are originally from. She was adopted by a local minister and his wife and she went to high school with my uncle as well (who is my age). That was really bizarre finding that out.
So, we have kept in touch since our initial meeting in September. This was the person who decided to share her adoption story with us and how being an adult not finding out where she came from until she was in her thirties due to NC's closed adoptions laws then. She shared a wealth of information with us.
I texted her to let her know that I was there and to let her know which home study social worker that I had. She immediately texted me back and reminded me that we have to get together since we didn't get to see each other Thanksgiving when I came home. We have been trying to connect when I come home so that I can introduce Carmen and her husband to my parents since they are in the same city now.
I also had the opportunity to see the director and a few other staff members that we met back in October for the orientation and training. They are really so sweet and they are really like a family. It is so moving to see how emotional and happy they are with the process. She was so excited to see us moving quickly through. We hugged and she asked about my husband and shared a couple of exciting things with me.
I enjoy having a personable relationship with them and we feel like we can ask them anything that comes to our mind as a concern. I also like the fact that even though they are not a tiny agency, but they do not do hundreds of placements a year. However, they know their families by name and have ongoing relationships with them.
I have another girlfriend who adopted from them a few years back and they create these lasting relationships with the families to see how the children and families are doing. It is a really good feeling because I feel like we get individualized attention when we are there and they are really getting to know you as a couple to make the best placement suggestion with the caseworkers for the birth families.
When this is all said and done, I would really love to help an adoption agency in some sort of way with their process. It is awesome to see how placing a miracle with a family that has a desire to parent a child and go through such a process to receive the child into their family. I am a cry baby, so I would be crying at every placement. I don't think I would know how to separate my emotions!
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