The Spirit of Adoption...
I am so excited!!
I just found out on Friday, that close friends of ours are right behind us completing their adoption process with the same agency. I was too thrilled when my husband gave me the information. The husband C. grew up with my hubby in NYC and he was in our wedding.
My husband, her husband and my BIL were athletes together growing up, although he is about two years older than my husband. Actually, he is the age of my brother in law and was a very close friend of my BIL growing up, but my husband and C. became close when my husband entered highschool, and they have been tight every since. He and his wife were residing in the state a few years prior to us moving here.
I became close friends with them through my husband after we relocated here from NYC and the wife and I instantly bonded. Although our work schedules have kept us from hanging out as much the first couple of years with her different shifts as a MD as well as my schedule.
We vowed last year that we would do much better sseing each other and keeping in contact. We have done much better this past year spending time together and making time for each other in our schedules.
C. is one of the best personal trainers that I know and my husband swears that he had him in the best condition of his life back in NYC when they were all there and my husband trained under him. He offered to train me in the past since my job was near their home and he was going to get me on a schedule so that I could return to the gym on my own. I never committed to getting there 4:30 in the morning. However, he told me he could give me a plan to use at the gym on my own as well.
They have been busy this past year working on opening up their new gym franchise here and decided to proceed with adoption later. Well, they have been proactive the past couple of months with proceeding with the adoption. While we have been busy completing our paperwork, they have been busy as well!
I never thought to ask our SW were they one of the 8 AA families that showed up for orientation back February because I did not think they were going to move forward with the process until this summer or later on in the year after the gym opened.
I did ask our SW how did the orientation go and she said that it went well and that it would probably take the families a while to get to the point that we were because so families do not immediately move forward with adoption after the orientation and then they have to work on getting all of the paperwork submitted.
I guess that I am overwhelmed with joy because I gave J. (the wife) the number and contact information for the agency back in the winter and I had not really pressed the issue because I knew that they were trying to open their gym which is her husband's business. This is such exciting news because last spring when we talked at their home she said that it would be nice to go through the adoption process together but she was looking into Grenada at the time that we were proceeding with Ethiopia.
My husband and I decided to move forward last summer since we were researching from the spring to the early summer and they were not quite ready to proceed with the adoption process at that time. Now, we are both in a process together.
I am so excited that they picked up the pace and joined the race to parenthood! I think that it would be so awesome if we got our children around the same time so that they could grow together. This will be their first child too!
I will keep updates on their progress as well. We were supposed to attend a soft opening of the gym yesterday, but we were busy finalizing the order for our rocker and some other things, so I do not have any pics to post. The stores close so early on Saturday and it is difficult to get several things done. We will be at the grand opening to support them.
This blog journals my life as I take the journey towards motherhood, my passion for photography, other hobbies, and all of the things that come with living and having faith. "For this child I prayed; and the Lord hath given me my petition which I asked of him" - 1 Samuel 1:27
11 comments:
That's great Kristy! That's really exciting. I assume they're waiting on a newborn too. You guys will have lots to share with new babies!
Yes, Angela, they are. Our agency mostly places newborns. However, they are actually open to an older child too, but they are wanting an infant. They should be not too far behind us.
I actually just submitted some information to another agency in Texas that a friend used last fall that does a lot of placements. I did it just to give us other options since we are almost finished with the process with our agency.
Hey Kristy,
Will you guys have to wait to be selected by a mom or will you be placed? My social working brought domestic up and it's lingering in the back of my mind.
Angela,
Yes, typically with Domestic the birthparents select the adoptive parents. I have never heard of an AA couple having a long delay and the adoptive parents have a choice not to accept a situation if they are not comfortable with it or the birth parent. Thats why you have a SW that understands you and knows your needs, and preferences.
Due to the limited number of AA families adopting, there is a great need for AA couples to adopt. Many of the birth parents request AA families, but there is such a shortage with AA adopting versus others. Therefore, that is the reason for many of the transracial adoptions here. I think that it is wonderful.
There are many agencies out there now requesting for homestudy ready AA couples or singles that want to adopt an AA baby or biracial baby due to the requests of birth parents and shortages. Therefore the wait is typically much shorter for an AA baby.
We took our time with finalizing our homestudy because I wanted to prepare as much as I could since we were adopting and kind of be ready to accept a placement in the summer. However, if we were really proactive, I could had the homestudy finished in February and sent it to other agencies and have a child by now. We wanted to give our agency an opportunity and they are the ones conducting our homestudy, we did our orientation with them, felt comfortable with them, knew others that have adopted through them, and they also gave us a substantial amount off with the adoption during the time that we signed our contract with them.
However, I have been given a few more agencies that do a lot of placements and need parents. I am not rushing anything, but I did want to have other options available after we receive our homestudy in our hand in the event another agency has a situation that fits our needs just as our current agency.
In the end, its about whether people want to be parents or not. For the most part, the birthmothers want to make sure that their child goes home to a nice home with a loving family and will not end up in the foster care system.
Currently, my agency only has one family waiting and were almost completed and we will be with them. They placed 9 babies this past summer within, and a few this year a span of one and half months I believe. Everyone that I knew AA had a very short period. Their wait period was actually during the entire adoption process completing all of the training and paperwork. Most of them had placements when things were completed or within a month. I have one friend who had a placement right after they were on their last class with their agency, so they didn't wait at all. Their paperwork was rushed through.
There is a need and there is a shortage. It is one of those things that we pray for the right situation and the right birth mother.
What God has for you is for you. We have not had any difficulties with our process since we signed on and November and we have moved at our own pace.
In addition, with our agency, if a placement comes up, you do not have to have your homestudy completed if a situation is presented. There are other things that must have been in place, such as criminal background checks, health checks, references, and child abuse checks. However, we want our homestudy so that we can use it if we need to by sending it else where. I have learned a lot during this process.
Thanks for the information. Actually my husband has mentioned it to. I really am ready for a little girl.
I've been thinking about the babies sent to foster care in the nursery at work. There is a need.
Oh Lord,
Hubby's getting excited now.
Yes, it is exciting. If you can get a newborn baby where the TPR has been done, that is great. They are typically with the county or state.
Newborns usually get snatched up quickly when that happens and you really will not have any fees except for your attorney fees for finalization and a few other things when this occurs.
I actually met two DFACS/(SW-caseworker) workers a month ago in a meeting at work and one of them was telling me to give them a call because they often have babies dropped off by young girls. I never did call him but I have his card. I asked him did the babies have any drug issues and he said no, not all of them have issues. It is a route that many people go. It really is about timing and God setting you up with the right situation.
Isn't it neat how God brings people into our lives that are walking down the same path. He is so good!! It would be so neat if you got the privilege of raising your children together!
Marian,
you are so right. It is amazing to see things manifest. We talked today and we were like two little girls giggling on the telephone. They pretty much turned in all of their paperwork within a month. They have home study interviews this week and next week. So, they are moving right along and will be right with us or right behind us.
That's great. It's always great to walk along side of someone during the journey. Hoping for the best for both of your families.
Thanks Debbie. It will be fun to go through it together. We hoped for that initially and then their speed was a little slower due to other things going on. We are right there together now. We are a little ahead of them because we have had all of our interviews. Now, we are just waiting for our SW to do our final visit.
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