Which box...

are they supposed to check??

Which box should children who are biracial check? Especially when it comes to college admissions applications?
This is really serious when it comes down to applying to colleges, internships and for scholarships. I know this is a touchy issue for many, however, the reality is, what do you do?

I am sharing a real life experience from my immediate family that happened a short while ago.
I have 2 younger first cousins who are in high school and they are biracial (actually, there are 4 within my immediate family on that side). I have an uncle that I am same age as, (actually, I am 4 months older than him) who has 2 girls in high school and they kind of see me as their aunt versus their first cousin because I am their dad's age. That is another story for another day!

We have had the discussions since they were growing up as to accepting their identity and embracing both ethnicities. Their mother is caucasian and she and my uncle are separated after being married like 14 years, but they are very civil towards one another and my aunt is a wonderful mother to these girls and she still is in love with my uncle, the girl's father. They were married very young and we know how that goes sometimes. I explain all of this, so that readers will understand why we are so involved with the girls, but we have a close knit family support system.

Well, the oldest daughter is a Senior in high school. She actually finished her senior year this past summer, a year early by finishing back in the summer, however, we felt that she needed to attend this last year of high school, although her advanced placements classes had her finishing much earlier than we anticipated.
To make a long story short, my mother and I have really stayed on her in regards to getting her college applications in. She is exceptionally smart, and it is just a God given talent. It is no other explanation. In addition, they are natural athletes which is secondary to their scholastics in our family.

She sent some paperwork in back in the spring to one of the colleges of her choice and when she filled out the application under ethnicity, she checked OTHER, and left it at that. I think she did indicate that she might have written in biracial on one. Well, for the particular thing that she sent off, she never heard back from the school and several of her classmates did. I wonder why?? Hummm, could it be that you checked other? We know so.
She is one of the smartest students in her class and she did not understand why she did not receive any response and her classmates did receive responses and they were all from various ethnicity groups and not necessarily as involved academically, community wise or with sports. She is well rounded and she knows that she is well rounded and that is why she was puzzled. The funny thing is that this young lady is very intelligent, however, she doesn't realize how intelligent she is, which is a good thing in a way.

However, the big issue was that she should not have checked "other" box alone.
Let's face it, when large colleges/universities are looking at these applications, they need to know what ethnicities the students are for their own numbers. She is a minority and it is just a fact of life, everything boils down to numbers. Yes, you have to definitely earn a spot in a college and definitely compete for scholarships, however, it also helps when you are able to help them with the demographics. She learned from that mistake and my parents had a long talk with her after we found out what she did.

They visit my parents often for different events all during the year and this gives my parents an opportunity to expose them to even more in a large city, since the girls live in a rather small, rural town. We encouraged her to work on her college applications this summer and to get them out after my parents reviewed her essay. She did get them out and my mother actually went with them to an open house a month or so ago and it went well.
Last week she found out that she got into her first choice school, which is a very large school and wonderful university. Right now she would like to be a Dentist or focus on Sports medicine, which are both wonderful choices (we know that may change). I knew that she would get in to the school with her academics and activities alone which are remarkable. We are super proud of her.

However, the moral of this story is that she had to learn to remember to embrace her unique ethnicity, but also understand that she is considered African American. Her father is African American, her mother is caucasian, and she is considered African American. Until someone comes up with a universal "other box" that lists the different variations for biracial or multiracial children, we have to accept this fact. Not being upfront and having biracial and multiracial children be in an unknown group may truly hinder the opportunities for them in certain instances.
My husband is multiracial and we have this discussion all of the time. Most people have no idea of his ethnicity unless we share it or they see family pictures! However, he checks AA on documents, and he was not even born in the US, but moved to this country as a young elementary student. We both come from multi racial families and we discuss this often and laugh about it in certain instances.

The wonderful thing about these girls is that they do know who they are and are comfortable with it. They have a diverse group of friends of different ethnicities and they are very comfortable in their skin.
Now, I am going to say that this took years of building them up and making sure that they were clear of their identity. Many parents think that it is cute when their little one refers to their ethnicity as pink and tan, or chocolate and vanilla swirled when they are younger, however, the children really need to be taught what their ethnicity is so that they are truly comfortable in their skin and truly know who they are.

Their latest visit was after Thanksgiving and they came up with one of their girlfriends and attended an annual debutante ball with my mother and they loved it. They wore their formal prom gowns as guests and they saw the young AA girls be presented into society. I was once one of the young ladies presented as well, wearing a white wedding gown with long formal gloves (a long time ago). This is annual tradition where I am from and the chapter that my mother is in has been presenting these girls for 60 plus years, I believe. The girls really enjoyed it and they even have a desire to follow my mother's and myself in terms of being in a sorority and being active in the community.
It has been a journey with shaping and molding them, however, the end result is that we have well rounded girls and we are proud of how they have accepted both ethnic groups and embraced it. They will be able to handle themselves because they are comfortable in their own skin. I must say that a key component is keeping both ethnicities visible in their lives so that it is not just one sided. Children need to surely have some contact with others who have skin that looks like their own.

So, I guess, what box would you check, if you were in this situation or had a child that is biracial?
It is a sticky one, but information is powerful and when it comes to getting a top notch education, scholarships and more, you do what you need to do to get your name in the hat when it comes to getting an opportunity to be interviewed. I am still unsure as to what group other ethnicities place themselves in when the combination does not include AA. We already know that when one parent is AA, the child is definitely considered AA. It really goes back farther than that, if we look at history.

Sorry for the long post, however, I had to explain a little bit of the background and experiences to make this clearer. I hope to post some pictures soon of these sweet hearts. I have shown them in the past, however, as customary, I take down my slide shows after a few weeks of showing family pics.