So, let me catch everyone up to speed at this time. Thanks to those who have texted or sent me a message, wondering what in the world is going on and wondered did we secretly get a placement.
This is where we are at this point.
We left our private agency after waiting for a sufficient time with them and moved forward with a state agency. If you would have asked me 3 years ago would I have taken this route, I probably would have said no out of fear of the hassle of dealing with the local/state adoption process. I will share my initial fears about that in a separate post another day. Actually, everything was going fine until we got right here to the end and a different department took over our file.
We are in the process of having our home study completed next week. Their process is a little different. The home study is one of the last things that you do now according to how they operate here. They do all of the orientation, paperwork, background check, clearances, drug tests up front and then you are assigned a SW to come out to look at your home and then the final thing is taking their classes.
Our paperwork was approved in July and was sent to the next department to be assigned a SW so that we could have our home study completed. However, the next department sat on the paperwork for a month, never looked at the file and did not follow up with us until I sent a serious email to the Director after numerous unanswered phone calls to a person that we were given as the supervisor over the department. The supervisor over the previous department who sent our paperwork through felt that we would have been called within the first 10 days after they received our folder to move forward to being assigned a case worker and told us to contact her if we did not hear anything. She was in shock that the next department had not done anything with the file when we contacted her and told her. They had not bothered to even look at the file.
We kept a log of the unreturned phone calls and we were both diligent about calling for the month. This went on for a month. Until I decided to send an email documenting all of the information and noting that our paperwork had been sent by the other department a month before and this was the beginning of a paper trail. I also used some other magic words that caught the attention of someone and we mysteriously received a phone call 48 hours later and everything was set up and apologies were stated over and over and over again on and our needs were desiring to be met. We are not difficult people at all. We are professional and we expect to be treated with respect and have follow up.
Prior to receiving the phone call I was speaking with a few close friends about the unprofessionalism and one of my friends recommended that I contact one of my state representatives if no one responded to the email since we had been in limbo for a month.
She also later recommended contacting the governors office, and I felt it was a little extreme, however, she explained why. Another close friend of hers contacted the governors office in the past and mysteriously after that contact, things were rolling. She was going through an adoption process with the state and the workers were not following up with her at all and delaying things on their end. I did not have to go further with my contacts. However, I do have a state rep. that I know if needed to advocate for us if our local department slacks off again. So, I have learned a lot about utilizing those officials who work for you. Thankfully, we did not have to lean on anyone because they called us back after receiving the email.
This was one of my initial fears of dealing with the state because they are so overworked here and they are just not equipped to deal with adoption processes. However, this is the agency that provides many of the babies that they receive to private agencies. At this point, our state is trying to maintain a foster program and adoption program which is going to be very interesting.
Although there are plenty of adoptive parents out there and babies and children that need to be place, many are concerned with the efficiency of the program. We totally understand the stress and caseload that the employees have, however, common courtesy and good customer service does not cost a thing. Especially when it comes to just calling someone and letting them know you have not gotten to their file or returning their phone call. It is really sad that we have to send serious emails to get a response from people. Can you imagine all of the little children who are out there in limbo in foster care because workers just do not feel like doing their job or are overwhelmed? It is not a good situation.
We will actually be taking the classes at in the midst of having the home study completed this month. Our classes are only 4 evening classes for three hours and one Saturday 5 hour class. We will be completed with the classes this month and our SW will be coming to our home this coming week for the first in depth visit. This is not anything new to us since we had a private home study done with our previous agency.
On a side note, our home study with our private agency just expired on yesterday and our private agency was rather disappointed that we exited the program and expressed to them that we did not want to continue to move forward with them. We explained why and told them we may come back in the future if we desire, however, we waited with them a sufficient amount of time and they just experienced a dry season with placements this year. I will make sure that I do a post on that phone conversation with the adoption coordinator who had no idea that there was lack of communication with our SW during the waiting process. She was not thrilled to hear of that and to know that we truly exited the program.
We do have a baby that we have identified in care that we are interested in adopting. Without going in to too much detail at this point, that is one reason that led us to this process. We were told about the baby from a close friend of ours that sees the foster mom on a regular basis and that foster mom was unsure that she was going to adopt this child upon the TPR taking place. We advised the foster mom that we were interested in adopting the child if she was not going to or could not adopt the child. We actually had an opportunity to see the baby and hold it at a birthday party we attended by the mutual friend (the friend who told us about the baby) over the summer and she advised us then that she was still unsure. I think she advised the friend that she held onto the paperwork that they gave her regarding whether or not she was going to adopt the child. She held onto it almost a month and I believe she stated that she was only given two days to get it back in. We are unsure what she decided on paper. We are not worried because whatever child is for us, is for us. Period.
We do know that there is a chance that we may not get this identified child, however, we are open to others if this particular one does not work out. The child did have TPR over the summer. We advised our SW that we are definitely interested an open to other situations if this one does not work out.
The fact of the matter is, our home study could have been completed in August if were not due to lack of communication and non compliance on this particular department. However, it is water under the bridge now. One month later, we are scheduled for everything to be completed and we are just thrilled about that. We have a very sweet and seasoned SW that is coming to do our study.
The blessing about this experience is that we can help other friends of ours who are also interested in going this route as well and are waiting to see how things work out with us. Yes, most people have heard undesirable things about the process. However, if you are diligent with your paperwork and stay on top of things, there is no reason that you will not be heard. Knowing your rights is important with this process.
I have heard of not so great stories from others who have experienced the system, however, we made it work for us and are making it work for us at this point by remaining faithful and proactive to reach the end.
Stay tuned, things are moving swiftly and I will keep things updated more frequently now. I will know a little more once we have the visit next week. I would love to hear from others who have experiences with their state adoption system.
