Saying..

Saying goodbye to a Dear friend....


This morning I received an email forwarded to me at work from a close girlfriend here that advised me that a close friend of ours passed this morning, ending her 4 year battle with cancer. I received the original email at home on my personal email when I arrived home this evening. The signifcance of our friendship was this person who introduced us in the fall of 2004.

I met "M" fall 2003 after relocating here. She worked where I worked and was so kind to me and gave awesome motherly advice. She always presented with a sweet personality and upbeat.


One day before a meeting that we were both attending in Fall 2004 we were talking about my recent wedding and our settling into this city and settling into our new home. She asked us where we were going to church and all of that and she wanted to know how things were going.


After a few minutes into the conversation she said that she had a friend that was like a "god daughter" to her (the daughter of one of her best friends) that she wanted me to meet and she believed that the we lived near one another on the same side of town and that we would hit it off. She told me that she was going to tell her to invite us to her Christmas party that they normally have. I immediately received an invite a week later and "D"and I exchanged emails until her Christmas party.


I attended her Christmas brunch at her home and we indeed hit it off and during the holidays we hung out even more. Guess what, we both ended up living in the same neighborhood. Her home was finished about 7 months before my home, so "M" was correct, we were not only on the same side of town, but in the exact same neighborhood! We went from just being neighbors in the same neighborhood to being introduced by "M" and creating a wonderful friendship.

In 2005 we found out that "M" was diagnosed with cancer. She decided to retire early and moved with her son and daughter in law. She never discussed her illness and she was always upbeat. They came back to visit and check on her home often since she was out of state staying with her son and getting treatment where she was.


Her strength and endurance over the past 4 years has amazed me. She never complained about her condition and she never brought it up. Summer of 2006 my girlfriend "D' was the party planner for her official retirement since she had fallen ill the prior summer. It was an awesome retirement party.


Unfortunately I received a call on last Thursday from my girlfriend that things were not looking well and that they were going to visit her on this past Sunday. They had decided to stop treatment and Hospice was taking care of her at her son's home.
I knew that this meant she was in her final days. I wanted deeply in my heart in one way to see her this past Sunday, although she would not recognize me and on the other hand I wanted to remember her how she was before she left this earth. Unfoturnately, Sunday I could not go out of town, due to prior obligations. I will remember her as I last saw her with her beautiful smile and in good spirits.


While I am sad and emotional today, that our friend is gone, I am not going to be selfish to want her to be here suffering with her condition. She is in a better place and I have happy memories of her and I am blessed and honored to have been apart of her life, if even for a short while. If not anything, I am blessed with the friendship that she introduced me to back in 2004 that will never change. The love that she had for life and friends will always be the connection between "D" and I. It was her suggestion that brought our friendship together and we are truly like two peas in a pod as she suspected prior to the introduction.


I know that she is smiling down on us now and she is in no more pain and I can see her beautiful smile now. I am a little sad that we did not have any children before she left this earth because she was eager to see us have a child since she met me shortly before our wedding in 2004.

She always told me to relax and not stress myself out when it came to trying to conceive. She suggesting taking the summer to TTC when things were slower and less was going on in my life. I listened to that advice, although we were not attempting at that time, but we were talking about it. She gave such great motherly advice to her "play daughters" as we were.


The love and devotion that her son and daughter and love demonstrated was unconditional. They were there from beginning to end, literally. I am so greatful to meeting her and knowing her. I only wish that our children would be able to meet her. She was an awesome person and she lived life to the fullest. I know that she will be so pleased to know when we receive our bundle of joy.
It is hard to say goodbye, but I know in my heart that she is at peace and she was truly a fighter. I am so greatful for her planting the friendship that she did with us and she had the opportunity to see the relationship manifest and our families connect, all because of her.
The friend that she introduced me to also was one of our references for our adoption and the letter that she wrote for my husband and I caused me to shed tears. She sent me a copy of the reference letter and it was so personal with so much thought put into it.

I realized again today that on this journey of life and our adoption journey, we will experience the good and the bad. I want to be able to look back at my journals and scrapbook during this time to remember these things that were going on in our life. It is all apart of our journey in life. Most importantly, I want to tell our child about this amazing woman who helped us settle in and introduced us to some of our closest friends here.