The article exposed a lot of agencies and it was not a surprise to me. Fortunately, our current agency was not listed as apart of the ones with the large salaries paid to the top executives.
Read the article here.....I would love to hear your thoughts.
While we all know that there is a process and finances are involved, however, where do you draw the line? Many parents get caught out there with giving, giving and giving and nothing becomes of their process, but lost money given at a risk. This article here discussed findings that dealt with families who invested and had a long journey with their process.
I know for us, it was a little uncomfortable looking at different agencies when we first began our process. One agency went by your household income and others had flat fees. Then there were others that had fees based upon each situation. We still stuck to what we felt was comfortable. Regardless of what your income or occupation is, there should be some discernment in selecting the agency, and it definitely should not be out of impatience or being desperate for a child. We all often hear that "children are priceless", however, there should be some sort of rules set in place with how much a person or couple pays for their process.
I feel sorry for the families who have invested a lot and have nothing in return. It is unfortunate, however, it is going on everywhere.
The sad part is that there are so many families who would love to adopt, however, after hearing the costs of adopting here in the US, many are spooked and feel that they can not afford the process. There are many families out there who are professionals making very good salaries, however, they just may not have or may not be willing to invest 30k or plus to an adoption process. However, they can afford to raise the child. I believe this is the case for many families out there who would proceed, however, they do not feel that they have the finances. Hopefully, something will change in the future.
I would love to hear your thoughts...
14 comments:
Thanks for sharing Kristi.
Two friends from Ethiopia have inquired about our fees and were both apalled. I felt a little embarrassed attempting to justify coming up with that amount of money because I know it's excessive by a number of degrees. It's not right in so many ways, but what do you do when the fees similar and set in stone other than give up or pay them?
Children and families shouldn't be left in limbo due to fees by Christian agencies who claim to be doing the will of God under the umbrella charity tax exemptions in my opinion.
Domestic adoption should not be that expensive. I have never heard of 30K!! I thought 20k for a domestic infant adoption sounded extreme. Not sure what agencies people are choosing, but good gracious, no!
Our agency is currently at around $17,000 in fees for domestic and $19,000 for international from Uganda- however that applies to the child you bring home. The only way you would be "out" any money is if you left the agency before receiving a placement. If a placement falls through, the fees you have paid roll over until you bring your child home. Adoption is expensive any way you slice it, but to pay over and above what is necessary is an outright crime.
Angela, thank you for your feedback! You are right, it is a little shocking for most people who haven't done their homework.
However, the great thing about the Ethiopia programs we looked into were flat fees that everyone paid. There was not different fees based upon the child's needs etc. The fees were not based upon your income with the Et programs we researched.
We researched a few domestic agencies before going with ours and the first one was based upon our household income. While the agency was reputable and Christian, I just could not come to terms with it. My husband was turned off by that from day one and he couldn't get pass it. We were advised that salaries have to be paid because they do all of the ground work etc when I inquired about fees. I just don't feel it is right. One of the well known Christian agencies we looked at was listed in this article and they are very well known. It was a little disturbing to read the article and the previous article on families who had lost quite a bit of money with some agencies.
Thanks again for your feedback! This is a serious issue and a growing problem.
Laurie,
Thanks for stopping by! I read your hubby's post last week and did not get an opportunity to comment. It was. A great post.
Well, unfortunately, there are plent of agencies out there that are charging way more than 17k for a domestic adoption. You can look at many of the agencies on line and some will list a price of the adoption with the situation (race/gender if available and some background history). I have seen a little more reasonable fees for AA infants on different sites because as I understand they are more available to adopt than caucasian infants. The fees are much higher for the caucasian infants with those agencies who have fees based upon the situation and medical.
Our agency gave us a subsidy when we signed on that reduced our total costs because they needed more AA families. It definitely made a difference in our costs. They are just in a slow season now.
Did you have an opportunity to read the article that I linked? Also, in the same paper there was another article talking about parents who lost. Search adoption and it will pull up the other article as well. I forgot to link it. I will link it later today.
Thanks again for your comments! Yes, many are paying much more, believe it or not.
I haven't read your link yet, but I will. Our agency was very "middle of the road" when it came to cost/fees. Thankfully the adoption credit in our state gave us back all but $200 of what we paid out. We just had to wait a year to receive it! Coming up with the cost right after placement was hard, but we did it! (we refinanced our home) and I'd do it again if we could! When we were in the interviewing process of choosing an agency we talked with one that based it on an income scale, they were a Christian agency (which I liked) but much like your husband, there were a few things about them I just couldn't get past and cost was one of them!
Kelly,
Thanks for stopping by and sharing your experience! It is amazing to see how we all have a different journey through this process.
It is great that your agency was somewhat reasonable.
Yes, I have herard of people refinancing, pulling out from their IRA's, and putting on credit cards. Each family's situation is unique. When we first did our research we asked one of the adoption ccordinators how were people financing their adoptions.
We saved and really attmpted to prepare for the procss out of pocket. We have been blessed to be able to pay for everything out of pocket related to the adoption since day 1. It does become frustrating at time with all of the fees associated with the process.
Thanks again for sharing a little bit of your process! It helps so many others. It just disturbed me so that I had to post about it and ironically, include an article about the issues going on with some of the agencies which have a direct impact on what families pay.
Read the second article also, if you get an opportunity;
Luckily, most incurred expenses can be refunded through tax credits, which increased this year. Thank God for tax credits :)
Angela, yes that tax credit is a good thing and its great that it increased.
However, I read a while back with some adoptive parents that were discussing the credit that it really depends on your income bracket as to how much you will really benefit from that credit. Some adoptive parents were discussing it on a forum last year and one of the moderators corrected the person. Do some research on it to see exactly how you will come out in the end, if it matters. Some people rely heavily on the credit, while it doesn't phase others.
In addition, yes the tax credit is
wonderful but many parents can barely get the funds up for the adoption process. Then there are others who have no issues and do several adoptions out of pocket.
I don't agree with parents taking risks and paying out money that is non refundable if the birth mom pulls out. In many cases it can be up to 8k and more, however, they know its a risk when they give it. I would be upset over losing last minute flight money to drive across country and to have someone back out on the final day. That's money lost too. Many parents have gone through that. For many of the people adopting, the money does not come easy at all.
Well it certainly hasn't come easy over here either, but when the time comes I'm trusting a way will be provided.
Angela, you are right, it truly is a sacrifice. We devoted our $ to the adoption costs and preparing so that we would not get caught unprepared.
It is funny because we are waiting and our agency just doesn't haven't an influx of babies at this time.
I believe everything happens for a reason. It was just interesting to see so many things exposed while we were waiting and some of these were major concerns regarding the process.
My husband and I still stand in agreement on not being wasteful or impatient. It gets hard at times, but we have to still have faith because we didn't act out of the flesh with our decision regarding our process. If it were truly up to me I would have remained in the international program we were in because it felt a little more comfortable, even though I had a few concerns. We will see what happens with all of this. We all have to keep the faith!
Kristy, it was nice to come and check out my blog buddies and saw that you had created some new posts!
On this subject, we have had this conversation numerous times. As you know, our adoption for K was $17k...not too extreme but just enough to be a ittle uncomfortable if that makes sense! The article did not surprise me at all, b/c I understand that folks have to make a living...I just assumed that most of the funds were going to cover legal fees and BM costs for those that chose not to place their children.
I think that part of the problem is the comingling of roles. A number of agencies, like our own, were tied to a law firm. While the firm specilaized in family law, they also did a number of adoptions, both those placed through "their" agency and those that we might call "third party". Becasue adoption is 80% legal, I think that it is tough to sperate roles when a legal firm runs the adoption agency.
We had a GREAT experience with our agency, no complaints, but now when I look back on it, there was clearly no way to have any checks and balances in place, KWIM.
I just believe that more people would adopt domestically, for sure, if the fees were no so excessive. I think that a number of people are scared away by that! And yes, their are tax credits, but if you are a no debt family like us, then you have to come out of pocket $17k before you ever see that money.
Just my $.02 :)
Nakira,
Thank you so much for sharing your experience! Yes, you and I have had numerous conversations during my wait, and you have been a "sound ear". You and I are alike in so many ways and yes the whole paying astronomical fees just because you can is really not being a good steward over your money and that is why we looked at things closely, especially when it was a sliding scale! Especially when some of it is risk money with some agencies.
I agree that people have to make a living, however, most of their living should not take up a large percentage of the agencies intake from adoptions. Just because they are nonprofit, doesn't mean they work for free. Like you said, it is so much that goes into these things and with the different agencies.
These articles were an eye opener for many, but not too surprising to me because we were very shocked at the different amounts that many agencies were asking for.
Yes, coming up with all of the money is one thing and then getting the tax credit is another. One has to be done before the other! I agree with you wholeheartedly!
Thanks for sharing your wisdom and knowledge on this sensitive subject matter. As we both have agreed on, it would be so many more people taking the leap to adopt if they were not turned off by some of the agencies that they run into with crazy high fees.
For us, as you know, we have a fair amount with our agency. Interestingly enough, it is just a slow season. It takes different people different times to get their placement, and we are okay with that. Everything is for a reason. I look at the final outcome.
Hello there, I'm new to your blog but not new to the idea of adoption, and for the life of me, I can't understand how some agencies charge so much, while others can charge less. The issue of a difference in fees for Caucasion or African American children baffles me. I'm just really wishing there could be some type of regulatory body investigating it all. eveshouse.blogspot.com
Hi Eve,
Thanks for commenting!
It baffles me too. I really do not understand it either and adoption was not anything new to me growing up with several family members and friends of the family who adopted. It seems as though things have changed and it may be a money making business for some. However, still in my heart, I feel as though the cost just should not be that much for a domestic adoption.
I understand that salaries must be paid for the workers with the agency, however, as it turns out, it seems like in many cases those large fees being paid by the families are paying large salaries for the executives or owners. It has been really eye opening since we became knee deep into this process.
We have friends that are advocate for adoption and have adopted themselves, however, they refuse to pay ridiculous amounts as well and they did not in their cases. I have heard different reasoning behind the different costs according to the child's race. That is a whole conversation all together!
Thanks again for stopping by and please come back and visit and stay posted for news on our journey.
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