handmade gifts and domestication..

I received this cute little handmade apron and matching dish cloth from my dear friend Nakira. We actually met about 2 years ago shortly after I began blogging and I was knee deep in my adoption journey. She is not only a cyber friend, but she has become a true friend and she truly knows who I am, and not just my alias on this blog.

She emails, texts, calls me on my cell and home. We talk often, and when we don't we make up for missed time chatting. We bounce ideas, business stuff, crafts, sewing, baby talk, pregnancy, traveling, investing, and all kinds of things to one another. She understands my OCD ways as she has her own OCD ways too! We both are becoming better in that area. Most of all, she understands and has been empathetic throughout my journey because she has been down that road successfully. It is amazing how this journey has allowed me to meet such wonderful people.
To top it all off, we found out shortly after meeting in the blog world that we are from the same state and near the same parts. It has been difficult getting together when my hubby and I go home to where I am from. I am an only child, however I have a large immediate family and we do a lot of things together when I visit and it is very difficult to see everyone. My parents usually make it a little easier for me when we come home and they usually have some cook out, BBQ, fish fry or big dinner so my immediate family, cousins, family friends, and friends can come by instead of us trying to get to see everyone on short visits. Nak has been wonderful and has tried so hard to meet our schedule when we come into state. We will definitely make it happen this year. She just may have to come and be apart of the family and hang out, which she does not mind at all!

The week before Christmas I had a long day and it was one of those rough days right before the holiday. I had a lot running through my mind and it was just a sense of doubt in my mind about this journey and I had been in a funk for a few weeks regarding the whole idea of adopting and a few other things.
I believe sometimes I just think too much and analyze things, however, it is just apart of who I am. When I pulled up to my home, I always check my mailbox before pulling in the garage and there was this cute little package inside of the box addressed to me. After I went inside, let the dog out and breezed through the mail, I ripped through the package like a little kid on Christmas Day!

It was totally unexpected, a handmade apron and matching dish cloth from my dear friend Nakira. My spirits were lifted quickly and my mind was taken off of where I was trying to take it! This little apron is perfect and guess what? It matches my kitchen. She has not been to our residence yet, however, she has seen a few pictures that I have posted and removed in the past, and I guess she was very, very attentive. Our kitchen is comprised of earth tones colors (Chocolate, burnt orange etc). She nailed the colors perfect. My husband loved it too!

I love wearing aprons in the kitchen when I am cooking and I am looking forward to adding this special handmade one to my collection, because it was made with love, by my dear friend. Now, I must say that I did not get around to doing any sewing as I had anticipated this past fall with projects that I had lined up due to all of the adoption business that we were completing with our new agency.


I am going to carve out a little more time for sewing this year. It may not be often, however, I am pledging to do something simple quarterly. I returned to my hobby of photography over a year ago, however, I have not made a lot of time for sewing due to my work schedule and doing more with photography and graphic work. I will make it a point to definitely do something handmade for my dear friend for the next special occasion.

Yes, I am thirty something and I can "put it down" in the kitchen like a true southern girl from the past!
I am domesticated and proud of it!
My husband tells people that my cooking skills are one of the things that surprised him about me when we met while dating in NYC in my twenties. He was shocked at my cooking skills and level of domestication. I guess it says something about our generation. I often remind young ladies when they are looking dating seriously that they really need to have some sort of domestication skills. It definitely sets you apart from the next chick that can't cook, clean or do laundry. It is a double standard with guys, however, I have often heard from a lot of men that they truly would like a mate that has some wife skills and potential. So, with that said, it truly does take more than a pretty face to make it happen and keep things going. It surprises me to hear of the number of ladies my age that can't cook at all. It is actually kind of sad.
Many people ask me, "You cook on Thanksgiving and Christmas when you don't go home?" I advise them that I cook the same things that my mom cooks when I am home and I help out there too. My mom is truly a wonderful cook and she loves it and cooks with a passion. It truly is a lost art for this generation.

I am going to enjoy my chocolate apron! Thank you for the apron and dish cloth set Nak! You are a wonderful friend and I am so thankful that we met!

Sweetness

We have been keeping a little secret....

A few people know about these sweet little things that we met a few months ago and they have taken our hearts. They are truly sweet babies. They had an opportunity to stay with us for a whole day since we did not have anything planned and their foster parent needed a day to get some things done. She asked me to take pictures of them as well while they were with us and she left us outfits to snap a few in. They have been in care for a little while and we are very close with the parent that has them in care. They are growing and blossoming like little flowers. Yes, it is two of these sweet little things. Twice the love! They have their own individual personalities and they are so observant.

They kept us busy in a good way and we loved every minute of it. They enjoyed exploring our home and had a ball.

We have tried to help out with them whenever we can by going to their home and helping out and seeing how her routine works in her home since she has been doing this for a good while. She is a wonderful resource. The answer to the much asked question is Yes. Yes we are interested in these little ones and we have developed a little relationship with them as well. That is all I am going to say about that right now. We still have guarded hearts with all of this. We know that God will place the right ones into our home.

I have intentionally placed blurry pictures for the obvious reasons.

Visit

(Here are a few cropped pictures from our play date. I cropped out their faces for obvious reasons. However, they are truly adorable children. I will probably take them off shortly even though their faces are not showing. I just wanted to show a little peek of our play date).

We had our play date on Friday afternoon (New Years Eve) and it went very well. I was very curious as to how things would go with my husband meeting the children. We arrived at the mall at a few minutes after the children did with their driver and we met them outside of a store. They were waiting for us on a bench with their driver.
I introduced the driver and the children to my husband and we all walked to the play area and food court as planned. My husband grabbed the preschooler's hand and I took the 2 year olds hand. They were a little quiet initially, however, the driver advised us that he didn't think that they had their nap and they were a little off schedule, which is expected since we met right after lunch time. My husband immediately started talking to the little boy and they had a conversation all the way to the play area.

I must say that I was initially shocked that "baby girl's" hair was fixed on this visit. There had been some concerns of hair care before. I think it is just a matter of the family not knowing how to take care of ethnic hair, thats all. The children are well taken care of in other areas. The first visit her hair was all pulled back into one pony tail, sort of, but desperately needed moisturizing and grooming with a brush. I was advised that she typically wears it all freely out with a band/bow around it on occasions.

I was prepared to do her hair on this visit. My hubby chose a diaper dude bag to take on the trip and I packed a few healthy snacks, wipes, tissues, hand sanitizer and hair care products. I purchased her a brush, comb and moisturizer for her hair as well and packed those into the baby bag.
Their driver was so tickled that we had our own cute baby bag. Well, it was very chic. My husband chose his navy blue with white pin striped diaper dude bag for this visit. The bag actually went well with his jeans and white dress shirt. I guess he did this because he was the one that was carrying it and he did not want to carry a feminine diaper bag that looks like a purse!

To my surprise, her foster mom had attempted to put it into 2 pig tails and I was happy that she did. I forgot to send back the products that I had purchased for her hair, however, my husband later suggested that I should not just send the products without instructions. I will do a separate post on this. Hair care and maintenance is a really big deal to me, and it seems to be more relevant now that we have met a potential placement that has been in a transracial home for over a year and there is a need for hair care support and guidance.


Once we arrived to the play area and food court the preschooler was very active and talkative. He was all boy and active as any other preschooler should be. We had to get change for the riding toy and we let them ride a few of the stationary riding toys before we moved on to another play area. I also purchased them cookies from that popular cookie food chain store that really turns kids out and many adults too!
Afterwards, the 2 year old wanted to ride the train, so my husband took her on the train ride while I took the preschooler to the play area since he said that he did not want to ride. I was able to get some cute pictures of her riding the train with hubby. She talked to him on the train ride and pointed at things that she liked and wanted. She is a very intelligent 2 year old that does not speak in baby language at all, which is a good thing. Both children are very articulate and have large and impressive vocabularies.

During the visit and while I was watching the preschooler play in the play area, their driver asked me when did we want to schedule another play date and he told me his schedule. I told him that I would have to go over my husbands schedule for the remainder of this month and we would get back with him this week for scheduling something towards the end of the month if possible, or right before the end of the month.


At the end of our 1 hour play date we walked to the car with the children and their driver because we parked near one another. We buckled them in their car seats. I buckled "baby girl" in and my husband did "Little man's" car seat. As I was fastening her in, she clearly asked me in a nice, loud and clear voice, " Are you coming back?" Meaning, am I going to see her for another visit.
I was shocked out of my skin that a 2 year old would ask such a big question. She had been relatively quiet all day, however she held my hand, ate snacks and talked minimally, however, she was very trusting throughout this visit too.
Again, the driver was shocked as well because this is a child that is very, very, slow to warm with everyone. He asked me was I going to answer her question. I started laughing and I said, "Yes, I am coming back" and " Yes, you are going to see me again". She gave me the biggest smile and looked at me with those pretty eyes and waved bye.

We talked to the driver outside of the car for about 2 minutes after that conversation with "baby girl" and he has truly bonded with these children over a year and knows them very well. He suggested a slow transition period for them when I briefly stated that I had concerns about bonding if we decided to move forward after other visits. It made a lot of sense. He also shared that what is different about her now is that she has warmed up to us much quicker and trusts us much more than she has with others. She typically does not warm up that quickly. The fact that she went with my hubby on the train ride in the mall and held his hand as well was big. I have noticed that she enjoys being nurtured and taken care of, although she is very mature acting. My husband mentioned to me that he believes the preschooler also needs a lot of nurturing although he acts as though he is just find and coping, by portraying to be a strong little boy. I think that is his coping mechanism to be honest.

The end result is that my husband would also like to have at least 2 to 3 more visits with the children before we make a decision on whether we want to move forward with possibly discussing transitioning them into our home. He felt that they were great kids, adorable and very intelligent to be so young. He also understands that these little ones understand that they do not have a permanent home and they do want a "Mother and Father" and I do believe, in their own way, they are being discerning as well. I can say that my heart was a little more open on this visit and something about them just warmed me up and I was not as guarded as I was before at our initial visit. Even if we do not make them apart of our forever family, I am thankful for meeting them through this journey. They are truly special children and we do not know what the future holds right now. I do know that seeing them, interacting with them makes you humble and it shows you how even little ones can teach you something about perservance.
I know that God knows our heart and desires. He knows what is best and we are leaving it in his hands as we take this journey.